Beer, Chips and Cricket

This is a site about drinking beer, eating chips and thinking cricket. I am not a former player, a television commentaror or a journalist; my qualification to being worthy of hearing is that I drink a lot of beer, eat a lot of chips and think a lot about cricket. The thoughts need not be politically correct and often include colourful language but there will be no deliberate bias towards any player, community or state. I don't care about popular opinion or perceptions and I speak it as I see it.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Post from Anirvan Chaudhuri

One of the guys who reads this blog sent this to me, asking me to put it up on the blog. So here it is. The guy's name is Anirvan Chaudhuri and his email id is .... so if u guys like it, don't like it or anything else, do send in a mail to him.


The Chuckster


What a shambolic performance. I feel like crying. What a pathetic performance.....just simply pathetic. I hope people in India don't do anything silly like burning houses or smashing TVs. What they should do instead is just ignore the shouldn't even be given any news space. No one should speak of cricket and we should actually stop spending so much money on it. The Indian team should be banned from international games....if they want to go, they should pay for their own tickets. All this money can be put to better use. But the first thing to do is to clean up BCCI. Those jokers should also have to answer to this debacle. It’s not fair that they get away with everything simply by terming the BCCI as a non-profit organization. Non-profit my ass! Does all the money earned by this behemoth of an organization go toward elevating our poor or does it go toward Tsumani relief? The main creed of BCCI is to earn money….nothing else matters.

I have decided that from now onwards I shall play cricket simply for my pleasure. I am not going to be concerned with a bunch of unmotivated, lazy, losers. I wish most of our population follows suit....that way there will be no more money for these losers. I am in two minds about my verdict regarding our team. Were we just made out to be good when in reality we are not that good or did we just not put in all our efforts? If it is the former, then one cannot blame our players. And yet I must launch into this sarcasm loaded panning of our great Indian Cricket Gods. What a load of crap...the only team with 3 batsmen who have made more than 10000 runs. Mr. Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar, the greatest ODI batsman: I personally think Mr. Tendulkar should not only pay the tax which he evaded on the Ferrari, but he should also pay for the Ferrari and donate a huge chunk of his amassed wealth to some charity for raising our hopes and crushing them for the umpteenth time! And this guy has the audacity of saying that he might be playing till the next WC. Sachin, remember Vijay Merchant’s famous words…it is high time you bid adieu to one-day cricket. MS Dhoni: " I drink 6 pyalas of milk everyday ". Mr. Dhoni, instead of sucking dry every bloody cow in Jharkhand why don't you practice your batting. Mr. Ajit Agarkar: "I have to give at least one 4 every over or else my family will be dishonored". Mr. Saurav Ganguly: "Good decision on coming could have gone out with the record of leading India to a WC final where you played pathetically...instead you have another pathetic performance to add to your kitty". Mr. Rahul Dravid: "Congrats on being skipper. Welcome to hell". Mr. Harbhajan Singh: "I'd rather not say anything about this idiot. A frontline bowler is supposed to take wickets and give about 40 runs in 10 overs. Mr. Bhajji disagrees". Mr Yuvraj ‘I am India’s Jonty Rhodes’ Singh…what the hell were you thinking??? Couldn’t you sit still at the crease? I don’t understand why no article has criticized this guy’s asinine decision to take a run when the situation called for calm and cool heads. Witnessing that run-out, Dravid’s hangdog appearance looked even more morose. And I never understood why Dravid did not employ a slip when we had Sri Lanka on the ropes. I remember thinking to myself that no matter what level of cricket you play, a slip is a given whenever a wicket falls, and especially if a late-order batsman like Chaminda Vaas takes strike.

I think Mohammad Kaif, Ramesh Powar, and VVS Laxman will be thanking their lucky stars and laughing hard for not being part of this shambolic display. And I don’t Greg Chappel will be sleeping for the next few days lest some deranged drunk Indian fan (thank God my brother-in-law is not yet in the Caribbean) enter his room and strangle him to death ala Bob Woolmer. Since we're on that topic, Inzy 'Alu' Ul Haq will be smiling in relief....India's loss takes some pressure off him.

And finally....Sunny Gavaskar will launch into more tirades against Chappel and add some anti-Aussie spice to it. Mr. Ricky 'George Bush is my twin' Ponting will smirk and make a snide remark about India's woeful performance. Mr. Gavaskar will respond by saying that it's because we were coached by an Aussie.
Oh well....tomorrow is another day. Atleast mera WC khatam ho more wasting time on these as*holes. By the way, I shall be wholeheartedly supporting the Irish. I have finally learned the mantra of staying happy and calm: Support a team which takes joys in simply playing cricket and being in the Caribbean. They remind me of Trinidad and Tobago in last year’s FIFA World Cup….simply delighted in being there and happy to gulp any unexpected successes that came their way. Fight on you lovely Shamrocks and may you meet the West Indies in the final for that will be the biggest fun-filled highlight of the tournament. Can you imagine an entire audience of West Indian and Irish fans, drowned in a sea of rum, Guiness, and Red Stripe beer (Hooray Beer)! Here’s to reliving those halcyon days when cricket wasn’t swarmed with money-grabbing suits and corporate bigwigs and when players played just for the love of the game.

A depressed disturbed former fan of the Indian cricket team which is in reality simply an extension of a so-called non profit organization called the BCCI.

P.S. I apologize to Mr. Tendulkar if he has indeed paid the tax on the Ferrari.


  • At Wednesday, March 28, 2007 2:01:00 AM, Blogger The writing monkey said…

    This is why I started a blog :)

  • At Wednesday, March 28, 2007 8:52:00 AM, Blogger Pankaj said…

    Well nobody can disagree to what you said. There are few things more to this. Indian cricketrs are way too incompetent in the game - both technically and mentally. Looking at the shots Hayden, Clark and Ponting played against SA, my mind started comparing them with Sehwag,"Unpredictable number 3" and Sachin Tendulkar. Ok lets assume Number#3 is all experienced Ganguli. All the Australian players are new comers when compared to our 1,2,3. None of the Indian players can improvise. All of the Aussies score at will with proper cricketing shots.
    None of our bunch know the importance of singles (Sachin to some extent but I think he is too old to be interested in Singles). On the other hand Australians beleive in taking singles on every ball (even with slightest of possibility) and after unsettling the bowler, hit him for 4's and 6's and mind you all this happens in 1 or 2 overs.
    All the Australian players have most solid technique. What I mean is, field them in a test match and expect a rock solid performance. One the other hand, Sehwag doesn't rely on the very basics - foot work. Ganguli is a cake for fast bowlers with their shorter ones' and for almighty Sachin, we have to accept that he has a serious technical flaw with the good length ball coming into him. He always has his "india gate" open between bat and pad. All and all, Indians are no where near the best. Bowling should not be even compared, specially when the comparison is with likes of McGrath, Warne and Brett Lee. Our bowling attack is not even as good as the College team I played with. People of India should be happy if India wins against Bangladesh, Ireland, Kenya, Scotland, Zimbabwe. Beating SL, Pakistan and England should be treated as the best performance and beating Australia, SA, NZ and WI should be treated as a Miracle.

  • At Monday, April 02, 2007 6:43:00 AM, Anonymous Anand said…

    I am going to disagree with what has been said here. The problem with the statements about Tendulkar is that you are comparing him with what he was. I am sure he will also agree that he is no longer the same person. But compare him to upcoming newcomers, and I am not sure if you can guarantee that any of them will do any better than he is doing currently.

    Before you write him off, compare him against the new guys and give reasonable arguments to show that they are better than him. (He played in the Ranji final and did a pretty good job while batting for Bombay.)

  • At Monday, April 02, 2007 10:19:00 PM, Anonymous Anand said…

    Btw, Ferrari paid the tax instead of Sachin.

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